Harry potter and the crackhead stoner
by vivfox
Summary: Ron starts doin drugs and Harry is feeling depressed. What will happen when Ron shows him the drugs? What will he do? who can save them from misarable times? M jus in case.
1. Chapter 1

Harry putter was trap in the Dusleys home. He was their slave. He did all thee work in house. "im soooooo TIRED OF THIS SHET." Said Horry. Aunt Turnip say "I dont care. You are slave so to bad." Harry starte cryin. While crying he thinks off of the school for lizards that he herd of. "I want to go to lizard schul so I can HAVE SUPAR POWARS." Said harry potthead.

A little whale later all of a suddens he gots latters cuz his owl is a mail owl lol. "Headword!" said horry. "sup harry I gots u another letta from that wizards place. Wow they must really want u." "OH wow thaks headbitch! Drams really DO COME true!"

He startded packing his thinks but the Dusleys woldmt let him go. Dudey staped him! "Wheer do YO THINK your goin?" oh shit thot harry. "YEAH" said the aunt. "yuor not aloud to go becuz were strict."

Later that nite Harry didn care. He called his homeboi Ron ako carrot top. "Hey sup wanna partie?" "oh HELLZ yeah" harry potheads.

So Ron flew up to my homes an waz lyk " yo dud wanna do some DRUGSSS?" Of corse I agreed. " yeh HELLZ YEAH lets get hi. "Oh theres suppose to be a party Horemines thrown it." Said jon. "OH sweet." I said. "comon ill drive you." "K"

So we drove to the partys. BUT THEN all of a suddens a gurl that was totes kawaii desu ne~~ on a brum amd we booth lost control of Bons car. "OH S******it" Ron carrit top said. "oh damn we GONNA DYEEE?" We booth streaked. But we ended up landing in a willop tree. "oh thank goddess." Roon said. Harry was so drunk an hi already tho so he thot that ron was Gimmy. "YOUR SO HAWT" said harry. "what." Ron screemed. Horry then move up to ron to make his movie. "RON im in luv wit you." Ron bloshed. "OH HARRY I didn know your feels!" sayd ron. Ron took OFF his pants to do the things. "shall we do the dance with no pants?" Said Horry.

WOW THAT'S A PREETY BIG CLIFF HANER! WHAT WILL RON THE CARRIT SAY?


	2. Chaper 2

(WARING: CONTAINS ORANGES!)

Ron thout about his desicions. He than desided to do the things wit harry. "K" sajd ron. So harry then stars to underdress Ron so they coud make the babys. (not acual babys that wod be weird). But be4 Horry did that he did some mor drugs an crack and was sooo hi. "Alrite lets do it." He say. Harry start toochin rons inaproperly. Makin ron squee lyk a fangurling pig. Then in the middle of harry doing things to each otter Harry relised Ron

wAS A PIGG! He accidently tooched hes wAND rong and turned Ron into apig. "oh shit*" harry say. SO everytim they didi it and toochin hes WAND OF magic, spellz woud happen.

"This sucks" harry said. "Ron carrit top thout aboat what harry an him jus did and bloshed a brite shade of purple. Hoery thot that was kawaii. He blushed two. Which mad ron bloshes more an it continued until they were al the colours of thee ranbow.

"oh HARRY I LOve you so much 3" rom said. Harry picked up ron faces in his giant yoai hand and said "im neva goin give u up" an ron repies "neva gonna let me down?" "neva gonna run around an dessert you 33" "ill be any dessert you want ;33" said ron. Harry then licked ron cuz he thot he was sooo kawaii. "Bein wit you makes me happied" said ron. Then harry starts takin even more cloths OFF Ron. But then all of a sudden they herd a girl!

"YO BI*CHES WHAT you Doing UP THere?" said a familer voce. It was Horemine! "OH UHH,,, WE were jus doin some druggs,,,,, you want sOME?" Harry SHOUTS. "oh id LUV some ;DD…. Buts sadness im still hostin my KAWAI DESU PARTY, so ill do some l8r." "oh ok" said ron? "alrite whale sea(lol) you l8r BIT***CHES!&"

"WE should go to her partys!" said Ron. "ya! But I hope she doesn invite that lil stupid b*ITCH drago…" "DON WORRY SHE wont!" ron said sadly. Horry sighed cuz that was hes ex but then all of a suddens he went evil an teamed up wit voldewort cuz hES A STUPID BETCH. "It ok Harry! Ron say camforting his crush" makin them booth blosh.

So Harry an Ron went to horemines party. They immeatly started doin more drugs. and Harry was so drunk that he rippped his cloths off. "WEEEEeeeee! " he shouts at ron. Ron does the seme as horry, rippin off his cloths. Theen Harry tooches Rons wand a again. "Exspelliarmus!" shouts Ron. "Riddiculus!1" Harrry screames to Ron as he does the seme. After they finish doin they put ther cloths back on. "wow look theres Drago." Ron say. Drago was named that becuz Volewort gave him the inspirations to be the drag queen. "ill follow in yuor footstaps" drago said to himselve. You see, Volde Fiennes was tha biggest drag queen eva an drago lookd up to him wit eyes of hope. "I hope senpai notices me" said drago.

WILL SENPAI EVAR NOTICE DRAGO? AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO RON AND HARRY? NEXT CHAPER WILL MAYBE BE UP SOON


	3. Horminies party crashes

(contains fruit)

Ron draqs Harry into the back of thee party. "I Want yuor d." Ron sayd. "K" said Horry. They went into a dark an scarry room. But there was a cooch in the center of the room. It was a verry pretty cooch.. "Wanna mess up the couch?!" "Aw hell YA." Ron then pulls downy Harrys pants an stars poopin cuz he know Harry has a poop fetish. "Aw JAH!" aid Harry. Then Harry taeks off his socks and shovs his foot in Rons mooth makin ROn happied. Ron then movies Harrys foot down to hes butt. Harry takes it oute and rubs it all over hes chest and down to his hAPPY PLACE *wink*. "I like dis" said ron.

Horemine BUSTS THREW THE DOOR WIT 5 GUYS BURGRS AN FRIES. "What thE FU*CK**" said Horemine. "You guys R DOING IT IN MAH HOUSE?!2" "NO FUKCING* WAY… GO EAT A dICK YOU LITTLE BITCHES *nom*" "OH WAIT YUO ALREADY R!" The 5 guys then said in unicorn "OOOoooH GOT EM!1"

Horemine then leafs to go to her badroom wit thee 5 guts. Ron noticesas she leafs the cuts on harrys arm. "yuov been cutting yourselve?" "YeaH…" "You shoudn do that" "I kno" The poop that was on harry then starts slidin down his body and into his eyes an cuts givin harry infactions an pink eyes. "oow dis shit burns lol" said Harry tryin to be cheerful but he cant cuz hes depresses.

Horemine then makes anotter surplise visit to check on her homebois when she sees them still makin out even wit the infactions. "GAAAAAYYY" SHE calles. Ron then shouts back "the more policically cORRET TERM IS HOMOSEXUAAAALLL" RON SHOUTS BACK. "ok GEEZZ sorry" horemonie said as she left agaain. She prob left to do maor makeouts.

"AH finale we are home alone again (lol)." But jus wen they thout they were safe VOLDEWORT WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED Came in an crashed the party. HE was makin a mess of the house. "OH NO BI****CH WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED!" Horeminie screemed1! "YUOR MAKIN A MESS OF MAH HOUSE!" "Exspelleramus!" Voldewort shouts! killin Horemine.

Voldewort then went lookin foe his boi Drago. "oh theer you are ;3" "S-SENPAII~~" "I knoew youd be here" "OH SENPai lets leaf dis sh******* party." "Alrite common lets go to mah castle an shi*t…K?" "Y-YeAH sure sempai~" dargo sad whaile leavin wit the dud who shall not be names.

At theee castle voldenort lead Drago to his serket drag compatetion room. "This is were I did my very first competion." "DID YOU WIN SAMPAI?" "no but a won the necxs few times aftar that." "AHY SENPOI~" Dragi was about to confess his feels right there but then DUmbleface appeared!

OH NO! HOREMINIES DEAD! OR WILL SHE MAKE IT?11 AND WHAT WILL HAPPAN WIT DUMBLEDACE AN VOLDEWORT? WILL THEY FIGGHT TO THE DEATHS? FIND OUT NEXS TIME!

Oh and thaks too Kevin Blue foe the helps! :3


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